Have Times Changed??
2003-11-25 - 9:47 p.m.
"It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage." -- Jane Austen
Follow that Rabbit
2003-11-25 - 9:45 p.m.
"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid Sir, because I am not myself, you see." -- Lewis Carroll, in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
Bad night, Busy day.
2003-11-25 - 9:37 p.m.
Spent last night bawling just thinking about the Wayne situation. David talked about him a little - said that it was sad that Dad wouldn't be at his graduation or wedding. Margaret phoned to find out about Wayne's superannuation - where there's a will there's a relative.
Today was busy with a couple of appts plus helped Clare with her Profit and Loss statement. Had a phone interview for the call centre position - I have a formal interview tomorrow but I really don't want it because of the hours. The work itself would be hard - continual collections calls - but it would be bearable if the hours were suitable. They require 3 x nights and 1 x all day weekend shift. I can't do that with David.
David and I started reading Lord of the Rings tonight. We've only read 5 pages and it's already great.
t.
Digital photography dictates opinion
2003-11-23 - 11:15 p.m.
brett: i liked the pic of u!
brett: wouldnt say no to seeing another!
Tersh sighs
brett: ok..i'm sorry..
Tersh: i'm not a kodak centre
Wish I had a dollar for everytime i've been asked "do you have a photo?". I remember that time when Saz got a photo of Cameron Diaz and sent it to Troy. He actually believed that was her. There must be a part of the aging male brain which actually believes that skinny, beautiful women would be interested in them with their pot bellies, burps and vulgarities.
There is hope for me
2003-11-23 - 9:51 p.m.
a_doc_in_the_house_au: personality can overcome deficiencies in looks, but looks can't overcome deficiencies in personality.
Love Seuss
2003-11-23 - 8:44 p.m.
"Maybe it was that his head wasn't screwed right, or maybe his shoes were too tight. But I think it was because his heart was two sizes too small." -- The Grinch
Rage without the Road
2003-11-23 - 12:55 a.m.
I'm watching (Rage.)
They have an Australian Music Special on - I guess because Home Bake Festival is approaching.
I'm pretty stoked - I found a Pixies song in my cd collection! Texted Glennjamin to make sure it was the right 'Pixies' just incase there was more than one lot. "Here comes your man" is the name of the track and it's a great song. I feel a little less nerdy now and that's a good thing. It's a shame that I didn't actually pick the song and that it was on a compilation CD sent to me by a Sydney musician. Oh well.. better than Savage Garden I guess.
Got berated in the switch chat room last night for calling myself (and company) NERDS. Apparently, according to Miss Selene, we are geeks not nerds and there's a big difference.
I'm thinking of writing a list of things that Wayne might have that belong to me and asking Lee to look out for them. It's hard though - its feels like I'm robbing graves - but I guess she won't know about the bracelet, ring, photos, passport, tapes etc if I don't tell her. Will attempt to start that list this weekend.
Slept in until 12.30pm today. Quite ironic I think that it was a week to the hour that Wayne committed suicide. Found out that Wayne's Mum went to buy her dress for the wedding on Thursday (one week before the funeral) and actually bought two dresses - one lilac for the wedding, and one black. Margaret asked her why, and Mum replied that she didn't know why, but all she knew was that she would need it.
Scary stuff.
Yawn. Time for bed I think.. although Rage is worth staying up for. Sigh.
t.
Mac Shudder
2003-11-22 - 12:59 a.m.
<_break> Macs are great... if you like the computing equivalent of walking down a hallway full of locked doors.
From the switch.
A conundrum indeed
2003-11-21 - 4:19 p.m.
a cat named frankenstein: who the fuck is mavis beacon, sure she must be a great typist. but who the fuck is she?
Funeral Talk
2003-11-20 - 12:25 a.m.
Wayne Ronald Herschell. Born 26 April 1966. Survived by his parents Ron and Kay, his siblings Debbie, Shane and Margaret. Survived also by his sons Travis John, Darel James, David George.
I met Wayne in December 1990 when he was working for Garden City Pools. It was the week before Travis and Darel were coming up to spend Christmas with him. They were 4 and 5 years old. Travis and Darel had a great Christmas that year � Dad gave them Ninja Turtles and I would take them to the Australian Icecreamery for sundaes.
Wayne gave me something that no-one had given me before. He gave me unconditional, devoted love. He loved me exactly as I was. Deep down I knew that he loved me as he loved everyone significant in his life.
I look at Travis, Darel and David and I see Wayne in them every day. They have each inherited a unique piece of Wayne. Making amazing children was the one thing that Wayne did perfectly.
Wayne Herschell often spoke of his mum�s tireless love for him. He didn�t necessarily use those words, but he knew that she loved him. Kay.. you always shook your head, gave him a smile and a hug and told him that you loved him. Kay you never failed to remember his birthday or remember him at Christmas even when he was off on one of his soul finding treks.
Ron� Wayne strived for your approval. He hated the fact that he cared what you thought, but he did. I believe that he knew that you were proud of him.
Margaret� Wayne loved you so much. You and him were the larrikin kids, getting into mischief, both with that daredevil sense of cheekiness. When I met him, he would visit you in South Street and he absolutely adored Brooke. He would play with her and make stupid faces. Remember the KFC burger, and the banana lounge?
Travis. Wayne�s first son. You look so much like him. I see Wayne in you everytime I look. You have your father�s devotion to people that you care about. You love them deeply and unconditionally and you hold an intense desire to please and accept and you never make anyone feel as if they�re not good enough. Your ability to nurture and care for and embrace will get you through. Travis you have a purity of heart and a dogged determination to succeed that will help you through this and bring you out the other side enriched.
Darel. Wayne�s second son. You have his cheeky attitude and his pure love of life. You have his amazing physical coordination which enables you to cartwheel through life with this cheeky grin which melts the hardest heart. You have inherited his ability to work anyone around to a smile. Wayne was able to convince anyone to jump in the car at midnight and take off for a camping weekend. Darel I believe you have this same ability to make people feel light headed and carefree.
David. Wayne�s third son. The night before you were born he slept on the floor of the hospital waiting room. When you were a day old he had you swirling in a warm bath playing submarines much to the dismay of the nurses. David you have your father�s determination to succeed and his tenacity to overcome the odds. Like your Father, you embrace hardship, you look at it and then you turn it around so that it fits in with your ability to cope.
I miss Wayne. I remember his amazing eyes.
I remember the way he would finish any task he started. If he mowed the lawn, then he didn�t stop until everything was done � the paths had been sprayed, the clippings had been raked and bagged. If he cleaned the house, he didn�t stop until he everything was done.
I remember when we went to McDonalds he would always tell them to make the drinks last.
I remember how he used to be so particular about his work clothes. He would make sure every crease was ironed, and his shoes were polished.
I remember how he used to tease his Mum about sticking her tongue out when she was mixing something.
I remember how he used to eat all the ham.. wrapped up with a piece of cheese and mayonnaise or tomato sauce.
I�d like to say to Wayne that I love you. Everyone in this room loves you. We always have.
t.
Tired. Confused. Nervous.
2003-11-19 - 11:33 p.m.
I glimpsed the heading of my diary today and remembered that Life does indeed Go On. I have been comforted by the amount of support I've been offered during this time. A firm believer in karma, this is proof to me that my solid, tireless efforts of friendship over the last three years is being returned to me ten fold. From CJ in London, to Clare who lives in the same suburb as me, and everyone in between... thank you to all for everything.
The funeral is tomorrow. I have not attended the funeral of anyone really close to me before. I do not know what to expect (reaction not procedure). David did not realise that Wayne was being cremated so I'm glad we cleared that up! Could have been a fairly nasty reaction had it been a surprise for him :S
I am so BLAH today. Can't get my head around simple things like buying some lunch or driving my car. I spontaneously burst into tears, and fits of road rage (although that's not uncommon) and then suddenly I stop crying and get on with whatever I was doing. Seriously bizarre.
t.