Life Goes On

Relaxed and Planning a Holiday

Sunday, Jan. 09, 2005 - 3:50 p.m.

I'm eating a toasted ham, cheese and tomato sandwich. I have cold orange cordial, listening to music on a Sunday afternoon and my son is at a friends. I've just spent an hour reading my latest book, "God's Callgirl" by Carla Van Raay. It's the fascinating true memoirs of a Dutch migrant girl from a large Catholic family who moved in Australia and became a nun. At 31, she left the order and worked as a prostitute. Our hot Brisbane Summer has been tempered by some rain and cool breezes. Can life get any better than this?

I am the process of booking my first ever REAL holiday as an adult and Mother. Most of our holidays entail visiting my parents either at their house or at some holiday unit they've paid for. There was that one time that Ms-Do and I went camping (let us never speak of that again) but I still see this as our first REAL holiday.

We're going to Port Macquarie for five days! Wayne and I were married there in 1995 and we lived there for four years. I have two really good friends there - one that I've known since high school, the other was my bridesmaid. When Wayne was alive he forbade me returning and said that if I ever visited he would find me and well ... yes ... end the sentence yourself. So this is as much as finger to him as it is a return to show David where he spent the first four years of his life. It also happens to be a beautiful holiday spot.

I've booked us into a beautiful resort for three nights including full buffet breakfasts. They have mini golf, pools, spas, saunas, tennis courts, games room, cable TV, movies - everything to keep us entertained. I'm also going to spend a night either side with my bridesmaid so it will be 5 nights away in total. We are catching the train down (about 7 hours each way) and on the way home it will be a sleeper carriage.

I am very excited. I will be even more excited when I've paid for it all. Not having a credit card I seriously have to make sure it's all paid before I leave.

Dimity the Drunk

Friday, Jan. 07, 2005 - 2:16 p.m.

I once had this friend called Dimity.I've always thought of her as a 'charity' friend, because I was the one to make the effort by driving over there, paying for things, ringing her. She can't have outgoing calls because of her previous debt and she doesn't have a car. She seldom has money because she has a drinking problem. In the past, I've made the effort because ... well I don't really know, maybe out of pity?

Last week I rang her on Thursday evening, the day before payday. I was just calling to see how she was, but during the phone call I found out that she was broke and didn't have much to eat so at 8pm I drove over to her place, picked her up, bought her Subway and then she stayed the night. The next day I took her shopping so she could buy some blinds and other stuff that is too difficult to get home without a car. I then drove her home. She lives on the other side of Brisbane. She did thank me, and offered me petrol money (which I didn't take) and she mentioned that she'd like to get some more blinds next week (today).

So last night I called her and made plans to go around there this afternoon at 1pm. We arranged that I would pick up Subway on the way because she doesn't have one within walking distance. She agreed to pay for her sub. I went to help ms-do move some furniture and left there to get to Dimity's on time. I noticed that there was a missed call from Dimity on my mobile. I tried calling her back but her mobile was turned off. When I arrived at Dimity's at 1pm with Subway and an child who was expecting to stay there for a couple of hours, there was no-one home. I knew something was going on - her mobile off, not there, etc. We sat outside and ate our lunch and then I wrote a note for her screen door. I said to David "How much do you want to bet she's at the pub?" David reckoned, "Fifty Bucks" so we drove to the nearby pub and lo and behold there she was, sitting with her neighbour, getting drunk.

I went up to her and said, "What happened? Where were you?" She tried unsuccessfully to lie to me by saying she thought it was tomorrow but I can always tell when people are lying, it's in their eyes, and I asked her, "So why did you ring my mobile?" and she had no answer. Then I said, "You shouldn't lie you know, you always get caught out. It's sad when you put alcohol before your friends" and I walked out. Her and her friend were laughing as we left but it didn't bother me.

David and I talked about it on the way home - how destructive alcohol is, how insidiously it destroys lives and I explained to him that I will never speak to Dimity again. Never. I know that sounds a bit harsh but I am an ON or OFF person. When that switch goes to OFF that's it. No-one in the OFF position will ever enter my life again.

I was always more use to her than she was to me. It was not an even friendship. She is getting a computer soon - I won't be around to set it up or help her with software and printer drivers. She wants more blinds - I won't be there to drive her around or bring them home. To me she was a charity case - I didn't even enjoy my time with her but made the effort out of pity. Well fuck pity. No more.

Hot Passion, Hot Weather, Cold Movie

Wednesday, Jan. 05, 2005 - 11:15 p.m.

So my night off has been good so far. I saw my new friend D this afternoon but he had to fly to Sydney for meetings tomorrow so he only stayed for little while.

I then went to see I <3 Huckabees which was pretty stupid. I nearly walked out but it's not often I get to see a movie on my own so I figured I would just sit until the end. Had it been on DVD I probably wouldn't have made it to the second chapter.

I had a chicken kebab for dinner and then went over to see Ms-Do to pick up some stuff I left there this afternoon. We watched some TV and made plans to resume our walking in the morning.

Brisbane is getting really hot now. We have about 8 weeks of disgusting summer from mid-December to mid-February. The humidity is high and there is very little that can be done to cool down. Being in a rental place wipes out air-conditioning as an option so we generally spend the day under fans or at the pool. The rest of the year is worth it though ... summer-like winters and the lifestyle is great.

Planning Freedom

Wednesday, Jan. 05, 2005 - 12:10 a.m.

I keep remembering things that I had on my old HDD that are no more, especially my internet shortcuts. I'm telling you now people - BACKUP! I did, monthly or so, so my disaster is not in the proportion of the Asia tsunami, but it might have been.

My son is having a sleepover tomorrow night - YAY! I am in the process of making plans so hopefully it will be something interesting. Knowing my luck I'll be here, on my computer, chatting, playing games and posting to diaryland. Sigh. If I could just find my magic wand under all this mess I could conjure up a knight in shining armour to take me out to dinner, maybe even a movie if I'm really lucky - and then spend the night making sweet, sweet love.

Ms-Do is back from holidays! YAY! I've missed her ... well actually I've missed her ever-listening ear for my endless dribble about men, life and the rest of the shit I go on about. Oh, and of course, I miss all her news. We're starting walking again VERY SOON so that by next New Years Eve will be svelte and more gorgeous than ever (and probably not single and sitting at home).

*sulks*

Monday, Jan. 03, 2005 - 10:46 p.m.

My computer is fucked. From about 1pm today it just kept rebooting, trying to scandisk and then rebooting again. 'Round and 'round in circles until eventually I had to format and reinstall windows. Luckily with some dos commands I was able to copy My Documents to my spare HDD but all my programs have gone and I can't get my monitor installed! I have sporadic internet ... * sigh *

It is so easy to take an operating computer for granted. My computer guy is not there (Public Holiday today) and I don't know anyone else who can help me!

Quick Recharge

Sunday, Jan. 02, 2005 - 11:43 p.m.

I'm finally back from my 24 hour getaway. Broke my celibacy yesterday morning which was .. ahhhh .. so relieving :) then drove up to the Sunshine Coast, about 80 kilometres away.

Met my friend S there who had been staying in a unit for the week with her 15 year old son, K. S had prepared this amazing Fiji Indian vegetarian lunch consisting of a whole heap of dishes I can't pronounce but there was flat bread, dahl, potato curry, yoghurt dish, cucumber dish, tomato and chilli dish, rice etc. It was SO delicious! All the flavours combining and eaten with the fingers. S works with refugees and has years of experience in working with different cultures.

The number and age ratio was similar to my Christmas Day experience (at least three guests over the age of 50) but, unlike Christmas Day, I wasn't treated like a child! These friends of S (and of course S herself) embraced me and engaged me in fascinating conversations about Africa, Buddhism, foreign aid, colonialism, autism. Her son K was not your typical 15yo - he was not sullen or withdrawn - instead, we conversed about computers and options after school. He asked endless questions and gave suggestions about David. The whole day I was made to feel so special, unique and my opinions were valued. All this with an amazing view of the ocean from the balcony.

In the early evening we took a walk along the beach before the visitors headed home.

S and I had planned to visit the Woodford Folk Festival. Around 8pm we left Caloundra and drove, with directions printed from the website, past the Australia Zoo (Crikey!) and through the mountains on a road that could be used for rally car driving. An hour later we finally found the place with only one U-Turn (my fault!). Pulling into the carpark, we found a park and then tried to get a bearing. Three rows forward from the big tree and we took off in the direction of the lights. After a careful trek through the pitch dark tent city and we made it to the path and finally started hearing signs of some form of entertainment.

We arrived at the entrance gate only to be told that we had to buy tickets online! WTF! It was 9.30pm, the whole three day festival was finishing in about 3 hours, and they would not let us in because we hadn't bought tickets online before driving an hour to get there! We were pretty disappointed and no amount of cajoling or ... (we stopped before begging) would convince them. I did consider bribing them with a twenty or so but decided not to. We left disheartened but then decided on Plan B which was to scout the perimeter for an entry point! So here we were, two x 30+ year old women in cardigans (I kid you not) attempting to break into a music festival usually frequented by liberal pot smoking hippies.

We were unsuccessful so trapsed back to the car (remember, three rows forward from the big tree). It was at that point that S's New Years Resolution to give up smoking cracked and we enjoyed one before hopping back in the car and driving an hour back to the unit.

After a comfy sleep, I woke up at 6.30am and went for a swim in the ocean. It was low tide, but still really wonderful to wallow and float and meditate without a ten year old using me as a floating device.

It's amazing how 1 x 24 hour getaway will recharge my spirit for the next three months of the whole single-studying-working-mother-with-a-disabled-child task. t.