Life Goes On

Quick .. before I fall asleep

Wednesday, Feb. 23, 2005 - 7:29 p.m.

I facilitated at the First Year Orientations at Uni today. This is the second year that I've done for the faculty. I realised today that I am a third year student! How cool is that! At the rate I'm going it looks like I'll be finished my degree in three and a half years which isn't bad for a three year degree.

One of the young blokes in my group asked, "How much is the Uni Gym for a year?". My reply? "Do I look like I know how much the gym is for a year?". :) On the campus tour I did show him where the gym was so I didn't leave him completely clueless.

This week I've been busy fixing computers and working. I've been asked to do an IT Training Proposal which could be good as supplementary income during Semester 1. Don't know if I'll get the contract or whether I'm just being asked to supply the obligatory second quote but you never know.

David's birthday on Saturday! Mum is buying him the new Gameboy DS. I'm not sure what I'm getting him yet ... something small due to all my bills and Uni commitments until I get my bursary through. I met a young female the other day for lunch in the city. Parking cost me $13.00! Fucking bastards. Where Mum lives it still costs 40c for an hour.

Amusement 24/7

Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2005 - 12:23 a.m.

David: Do you find something amusing about the word tromboner?

Me: Yes. Yes I do.

David: Write 100 times 'I will not be a snickerpuss'

Planning to Meet

Monday, Feb. 21, 2005 - 8:01 p.m.

Me: so why are you nervous about meeting me?

GG: I just get like that, but I'll be fine

Me: we don't have to meet

GG: No I want to, it is like when I have to get up and talk I will be fine

Me: so you're going to imagine me naked?

Extreme Makeover Where Are You?

Sunday, Feb. 20, 2005 - 10:22 a.m.

This whole concept of physical attractiveness controlling men's choices is beginning to really shit me.

I know I'm not considered the physical ideal and I'm always getting the "I'm attracted to your intelligence" line. I also understand that men are physiologically wired so that their sexual arousal comes from physical attraction. I get it! But it still hurts when every single male I meet wishes he could wave a wand and make me 'beautiful' because then I'd be perfect.

"The attractive men don't commit because they have new sex partners constantly available. Lower-status men shun marriage because they hope to gain more options as they gain status and rise into the ranks of the highly attractive." (Source).

Men are totally consumed with what the woman on their arm reflects about them. They believe that the quality of the woman is a reflection of their worth as a man. All you readers of this ... yes you men who believe you're different ... you are no different. Some of you are in DEAD UNHAPPY marriages because of how the woman looks. You would rather be stuck in this situation than be judged by having an unattractive woman or be alone - and thought of as worthless by your peers.

All my fuck buddies have said a version of "You're great in bed, I just don't want to be seen in public with you". Even on the odd occasions that I have ventured out with them they were obviously uncomfortable and wished at that moment that I was skinny and beautiful.

And just when you think you've found an exception to the rule he goes and says "I wasn't initially attracted to you physically but now that I know you I find you intriguing and enjoy your company". * sigh *

My silver lining on this has always been 'at least I know I'll never be any mans trophy' and I know that the men that do choose to spend their time with me aren't doing it to impress their friends.

But you know, if I had the money, I would TOTALLY get plastic surgery. Everything. The whole nine yards. And then I'll be perfect and I'll have the choice of the man that I want and maybe then I'll be more heartless and less accepting of their faults and I'll start flicking them away saying "too old, too young, too boring, too lazy" instead of tolerating all their shit feeling like I have to because I'm not beautiful.

NNNNNNEEEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDDD!

Saturday, Feb. 19, 2005 - 12:21 a.m.

Well, that's not the ONLY reason I love my computer.

It also gets me laid.

Share Time, Share Organs

Friday, Feb. 18, 2005 - 4:56 p.m.

From now until Thursday next week I have something on every day. I guess my 14 week holiday is finally over. :(

Tonight I'm having dinner at a friend's place - she is cooking Indian which will be lovely. Tomorrow David is having a friend stay over which is good for the 'favour database' - I have a feeling that D and I will be making plans soon for a weekend night away.

i actually did some work on Logan too! Not enough, but they have staff away sick and there's no-one bugging me so I still have some lee-way. I'm slowly getting back into it. I really should try to get it done before my hectic week.

Today is the start of Organ Donor Week. If you decide to be one, please tell your families.

Clever Programming

Friday, Feb. 18, 2005 - 3:31 p.m.

Where's my "Comic Book Guy"?

Thursday, Feb. 17, 2005 - 7:24 p.m.

So we have a girl code I guess. On our morning walks (and in emails, diary entries, general conversation) ms-do and I have a way of referring to guys that influence our lives.

Sometimes they are positive names like 'Grafton Guy' and 'Air Con Man'. Sometimes they are automatically unflattering names like 'man-child' or 'try-hard'. Usually they all end up with 'wanker' or 'bastard' at some point and, unfortunately, most seem to remain in that category.

The reason we do this is because it's easier than saying, "J, the guy from Grafton ... ". Also, sometimes we don't know their names yet! * blush *

Playing the Player

Wednesday, Feb. 16, 2005 - 3:23 p.m.

Finally got my internet back after two days. I don't know how many times I have reset the modem or how many minutes I've been on hold to my ISP but it seems to have paid off. I really don't know much about data comms - it's my weakest IT area - and it frustrates me when I can't work it out. I persevered though and it appears to be working ... hopefully it will last.

Fighting with my Mother ... again. We've been invited to my Uncle's 60th Birthday in early March. I rang my Mum to let her know that we'd probably stay the weekend. She said that my second cousins will probably come up from the Gold Coast - that's one family of 4 plus one other couple. Mum organised everyone around (without having a clue as to who was coming, who was staying, who might just drive up for the day). She worked out that the family of four would stay with her (Hub and Wife in the spare room, daughter in my room, son in David's room). The other couple would be comfortable at my Aunt and Uncle's and would it would okay with me if David and I slept in the tent in the back yard?

Um ... no. That's actually not okay with me. I'm 33 years old and I am your daughter! David is your grandson! We should get first preference of beds! I would actually consider relinquishing our rooms for someone older than me, or for someone less fortunate than me, but she is asking us to give up our beds to a couple of teenagers!

I actually don't have a problem with tents. I own one. I enjoy camping - when it's a choice. I just don't like being ordered around and placed into fifth place.

There are many other alternatives. She could offer to pay the $30 for David and I to stay in a motel - that's the closest we're getting to holiday. She could put the teenagers in one room and David and I could share the other room. David and I could just drive up for the party and go home again. And then there's the option I suggested to my Mother.

Mum: "So would it be okay for you and David to sleep in the tent out the backyard?"

(Pause while fury erupts, head pounds, abuse rises to the surface, temper is controlled, thoughts are collected).

Me: "Actually, I have a better idea! I'll ring Wayne's parents and ask them if we can stay there. We haven't seen them for ages and I just know they would love to have us."

(Pause while Mother contemplates the conversation between me and in-laws, panic erupts, head pounds, temper is controlled, thoughts are collected).

Mum: "Hmmm.. well.. I'll tell you what. Why don't we wait and see what everyone is doing, and make a decision closer to the time?"

Me: (smiling sweetly) "That sounds like a great idea!"