Life Goes On

Clever

Tuesday, Jan. 18, 2005 - 10:50 p.m.

Guess who's anti-marriage tonight?

* smile *

Tuesday, Jan. 18, 2005 - 10:42 p.m.

"The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead." -- Ann Landers

Lose on the Swings

Monday, Jan. 17, 2005 - 10:37 a.m.

Sometimes I feel like I'm still in high school! Had an interesting experience yesterday afternoon and then again today where Person A got jealous because I was over at Person B's place. A then told B that they should be careful of spending too much time with me because Person C said that I sent her abusive text messages and that ... blah blah blah you get the idea. Apart from being completely untrue it's also so childish! When I have a problem with someone and feel as though the friendship is worth maintaining then I just spit it out. "I have a problem with ... " whatever. None of this around the traps and she said he said. I'm so sick of it.

Having said that, I have decided that Person C is no longer worth my efforts. For a long time now she has been taking me for granted and not reciprocating the friendship. I did have a talk to her about it a couple of weeks ago, hoping that she would give a little more consideration for how I was feeling but nothing has changed so * switch off *. I really don't need or want negativity in my life and I just won't tolerate it.

I have had to keep the names out of it because one of the people involved uses diaryland but I promise it's NOT Ms-Do. She still loves me! :D

Unfair Warfare

Sunday, Jan. 16, 2005 - 11:40 a.m.

An article from New Scientist which reveals some of the ideas that were considered as chemical weapons but later rejected.

I find it heartbreaking that as a society we would even consider these. Who would even release these chemical weapons? I know I wouldn't. I would rather rot in a military prison than inflict this type of sneaky, underhanded, soul destroying weaponry. Bombing an ammunitions factory I can handle, but these rejected ideas are inhumane.

The question that worries me the most is ... if these are the rejected ones, what did they accept?

Silver Lining

Sunday, Jan. 16, 2005 - 1:57 a.m.

zeratum: My life sucks more. I drunk dialed my mom thursday night, and got several hickies from an ugly bitch last night.

FFT: Better than drunk dialing an ugly bitch and getting several hickies from your mom.

Bee Busy

Friday, Jan. 14, 2005 - 10:37 p.m.

Busy couple of days. I spent all Thursday working on a Pentium computer running Windows 98 with 40mb of RAM. By the time I finished at midnight it was no better than when I started and now I have to return on Monday to replace the video card, parallel port and hopefully get the scanner working.

This morning we went to the local shopping centre to see some show about The Simpsons. It was pretty bad plus some teenager sat next to David and was really annoying him by leaning into him and poking his legs when we weren't looking. I lost my temper and said loudly "Stop being such a fuckhead" which made all the parents of the 5 year olds glare at me. The teenager however did stop so I guess something went right.

I also had a mini-fight with my neighbour which I'll have to sort out tomorrow. It was something really minor but I was so stressed about the computer and money etc that I reacted badly to something that in reality was nothing serious. I'm confident that I'll be able to smooth things over with him though which is good.

This afternoon and evening was spent at the home of a friend of David's. The boy's Dad cooked us dinner while the kids swam in the pool and then they played Nintendo while we sat outside in the cool. I don't like the Mother of this child - she is a high maintenance, demanding, selfish princess - but I really enjoy his company. There is nothing sexual at all between us so we just hang out and have adult conversation plus we have similar ideals on bringing up kids so it's easy to be there and not stress about David. He's a great cook too and makes me coffee all the time while I do nothing except relax.

Tomorrow I'm having another go at networking Ms-Do's computers and then tomorrow night ANOTHER six hour stint at LaserForce with three boys. My holidays are flying past very fast and I haven't been doing much work on my database contract. Once David goes back to school though I'll have the days to get into it and relax a little more before Uni starts again in March.

I haven't heard from my new friend D in about 4 days and I'm niggled about it. I'm certainly not panicking or disturbed by it and I'll never contact him first but I'm just starting to feel insecure about it; trying to remember the last conversation we had, last correspondence sent, and wondering if I said something offensive. I guess it's just paranoia - he is very busy running a company and does have four daughters so I'm sure it's not me. I hope it's not me.

Sexy Sugar hIT

Wednesday, Jan. 12, 2005 - 11:18 p.m.

My body is craving sugar! The binge over Christmas has accustomed it to fruit cake and chocolate. Ms-Do and I have walked three times this week (as in, three out of three) and I've stopped all the stupid eating like junk food and chocolate. My body doth protest but I refuse to get in the car and drive to the all night servo at 11.20pm ... So I'm having Weetbix with a bit of sugar instead.

I know it sounds ridiculous because no-one can lose 20 pounds overnight (I once lost 150 pounds of dead weight overnight ... I left my husband) but since resuming our walks I feel skinnier, I feel sexier! I dress differently, I stick my breasts out when I walk and feel good about my outside. There is absolutely no change in my physical size from 3 x 1 hour walks but I feel different about myself. I'm proud of my determination to get healthy and I no longer feel so helpless about my size.

I know more than the average user about computers, yet I still know so little! I tried setting up a cable internet connection on a PC today (through a router) and I just ran out of ideas! Is Information Technology the only industry where you can work in it, live it and breathe it for 13 years, and still feel so helpless when it comes to one particular area?

Will Dance For Food

Tuesday, Jan. 11, 2005 - 9:19 a.m.

I've booked our holiday! I'm so excited. It's going to be wonderful! The lady who took my call asked how I had heard about the place and I told her that my husband used to work there. She remembers Wayne and was shocked to hear about his death. She arranged for an early check-in for us and said they would look after us. I bet she says that to all the girls ;)

The train has been more unreasonable. They want full payment by February 10, and I can't pay it off! Bastards. Guess I'll have to buy them first before sending the money to the resort.

Ms-Do and I have resumed walking - both days this week so far and hopefully we will continue. I'm enjoying it again already but I have been late BOTH mornings so you never know - maybe she will drop me as her walking partner! ;) The new shoes are going well except that my left foot is cramping a little. Probably rebelling against being forced to walk properly for the first time in it's life.

Yesterday my computer guy came around for coffee. We were sitting in the lounge room and I didn't realise but David hadn't had breakfast yet. It was only around 10am so don't ring Child Services on me! Anyway, David comes out holding a sign he had made. It said "Will Dance For Food" and he proceeded to jiggle around the room. He is such a treasure! It's moments like these that I will cherish when I'm old and grey and rocking in a chair on the verandah of the nursing home.