Life Goes On

Sexy Thirty-something Seeking FBs
Thursday, Sept. 30, 2004 - 11:32 a.m.
Wow. What an amazing couple of days. It all started about a week ago when T went to Sydney and he fucked his old FB, the one he had before me. He told me afterwards and I then decided that I would like to know beforehand. We made a commitment to each other ages ago to have "sexual fluid exclusivity" (i.e. protected sex with anyone else) and we have stuck by that. This was the first time though that either of us had actually fucked anyone else even though there was no reason why we couldn't. So then he spoke to me Monday night and said that he was meeting an 18yo off the internet on Tuesday and that there was a chance he would fuck her. I thought I was okay with knowing this but obviously I wasn't because I nearly went into emotional shutdown which has always been the way I cope with my emotions.

He came around last night and we talked for a couple of hours and I came to the conclusion that I don't want to know anymore. I believe it's important for him to expand his sexual repertoire and I fully support that but I just don't want to hear about it. Even last night after I found out (I asked) that he did fuck the 18yo I found it really hard to tune the thoughts out when we were together and felt myself constantly thinking "Did she do this? Was she better than me? Why does he want me to do this ... to remind him of her?"

I told T that 'worst case' scenario between us for me would be friends without the fucking. I truly believe that we would be mates even if we met at work or Uni because we think alike and we laugh alike and we communicate really well. So when he meets and marries his skinny princess I truly hope that we will remain friends.

So the agreement now is that we have a 'standing order' for Friday nights. This will involve hanging out, spending time together and maybe a little sex (well probably a lot of sex but without the expectation. Can you imagine me NOT wanting it??). We start/continue to see other people but we don't tell each other unless there is a breach of the safe sex rule (on purpose or accidently). It sounds like a fair deal to me and I feel really grounded and settled with the arrangement ... so far. It is, of course, a woman's perogative to change her mind but this one feels right atm.

My only problem with this is that I may post my other exploits in my diary and if he reads about them then tough luck. This is my space, he's welcome to read it, but I won't be censoring it just to meet the agreement. So there! :P

So ... I am sexually available. Email me for an appointment. ;)

t.

Four "Facts" .. How well do you know me?
Tuesday, Sept. 28, 2004 - 10:18 p.m.
Inspired by Jason75's icebreaker activity, I decided to list four statements about myself. One of them is untrue. This will be EASY for my close friends, but maybe some others won't pick it. I'll let you know in a couple of days what the correct answer is.

1. I am missing the top of one of my fingers due to a childhood accident.

2. When I was 2, I feel off a pier at a boat club and nearly drowned because my Uncle was too drunk to supervise me.

3. I once posed naked for a men's magazine and wrote a regular column for them.

4. I played hockey for my University team when I was studying for my Teaching Degree.

That was harder than I thought! So leave a note or send me an email and tell me which is false!

t.

Cavemen and Movies
Monday, Sept. 27, 2004 - 11:03 a.m.
First Monday of the Uni Holidays and classes seem so far away. I know it won't be long before I'm back in my hard lecture chair trying to decipher the difference between ERP and ES but I'm relishing the moment while it lasts. Corey is over here for the day - he brought his Eye Toy and PS2 over which is heaps of fun. Corey arrived at 7.30am and then I got up around 10am. I realised from the microwave that there had been a power failure around 7.45am and asked the boys about it. They said it was out for about one and a half hours. I was surprised that they didn't wake me up but David just said "Oh we just took turns playing gameboy and realising how much electricity provides us and we also realised how the cave man must have felt!" Yeah... with your comfy bed, chocolate in the fridge and running water?

We're going to see the movie "Shark Tales" at lunchtime. I personally hate going to the movies when it's busy. I'm always worried I won't get tickets and have to deal with the disappointed kids. This time though I have a backup plan with Thunderbirds on at about the same time. We have an amazing cinema here. Their ticket prices are still only $4.00 each for kids and you can get a popcorn and a drink for under $5.00.

t.

A shit day all-round basically
Saturday, Sept. 25, 2004 - 3:18 a.m.
It's early hours of the morning and both my "boys" are asleep. T is here after an horrendous day at work - won't go into details simply because it is not my news to tell but suffice to say he's pretty stressed. When I found out the good news about my work contract the other day, I rang him to let him know and then today he rang me with his news. I've always said that I like to have people in my life who are genuinely interested in my good and bad news and who want to share their news with me. T and I have developed that level of friendship ... and it's great. I did my best to give him the space he needed to chill out and then candles and soft music when he went to bed so hopefully a really deep sleep will help the problem seem more manageable in the morning.

David also had a bit of a stressful day. He woke me up this morning to say that his TV had broken. He has a small colour TV in his room which his Father gave him. I knew the pull on/off switch was loosening by the day and it's finally given up. We made a couple of attempts to fix it but it's also got a broken arial and it doesn't have AV points so I think it's time for a new one. I told David when I'm ready to buy that he can have the new 51cm in the lounge and I will buy myself a new one. This wouldn't normally be an issue except that the old TV is one of the last presents his Dad ever gave him. There really is no other way to deal with this except to move forward. He is fine with it I think - we talked about it tonight and I just reinforced that it was going to (I almost used the word 'die' but luckily I stopped myself!) stop working eventually. I felt like saying "At least it worked some of the time, unlike your Father!" Geez I'm a bitch! ;)

I'm technically on Uni holidays but it's only five days which will fly past. I then have 3 assessment items due in the same week so I have to work NOW to get at least one of them done.

I'm a little ... I dunno ... fuzzy atm? Not quite sure what is wrong with me. Waiting for something to go wrong? Craving nicotine maybe? Not facing the harsh truth of a situation? I dunno. Just feel weird for some reason. I hope it reveals itself soon. I feel more able to deal with change when I know what aspect of my life will be affected.

t.

Why Am I Not Surprised?
Friday, Sept. 24, 2004 - 11:12 a.m.
speak and spell

You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky
bastard.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?

t.

FIGJAM
Wednesday, Sept. 22, 2004 - 10:51 p.m.
From: Patrick
Sent: Wednesday, 22 September 2004
To: Kim
Subject: RE: Logan Waste

Kim, Please let Tertia know that I would like her to do the work as discussed on our database and I'd like to book her in as soon as she is able to begin. Would you let me know whether this is agreeable and, if so, when this is likely to commence.

This one little email is worth over $6,000 to me! It means work over Summer, money for Christmas, heaps of experience and only four days onsite ... the rest of the work is done at home. :D

F.I.G.J.A.M!

t.

Dinner with the "in-laws" ... *giggle*
Tuesday, Sept. 21, 2004 - 4:14 p.m.
Last night my parents were in town. They live about 150 kilometres away and I don't see them often which is a good thing. I knew they were coming to Brisbane on their way to a Maths Conference in Melbourne - how exciting would that be??!

So it was decided ages ago that I would meet them for dinner at the place they were staying - friends of theirs - Jim and Tessa. T was also invited. This is really weird for me because my parents haven't met anyone other than kuinip (and they <3 her btw).

So I invited T to dinner, making it perfectly clear that there was no obligation. When he made the decision to go I then gave him "The List" of things he couldn't talk about. Now that has NOTHING to do with him ... I give that list to everyone that meets my parents. For T, it had three main items on it; three 'subjects to avoid' with a tentative fourth.

So all was set and then something happened on Saturday. My entry about Emotion vs Feeling was a result of that 'thing that happened on Saturday' but I'm just not ready to write about it. Regardless, one of the consequences of said thing was going to be cancelling dinner between T and my parents. Well he asked me on Sunday if it was still on and after much thought I decided it was.

Monday dawned, phone calls made, babysitter found. I rang kuinip and said "This is an Adult Dinner Party and I was wondering if ... ". She interrupted and said "You'd like me to look after T?" *smile* cheeky bitch!

We arrived a little after 7pm with nibblies and sat in the lounge chatting and drinking wine. Well I drank wine - T was driving. Dinner was lasagne and salad followed by mud cake (T's idea) and icecream. It was very yummy! I don't think T has eaten that much in his life before! The wine flowed (I think I had about 5 glasses of red) but I switched to diet coke and then coffee around 10pm.

It was a great night. We talked and laughed heaps. My Mother told embarrassing stories about my ballet recitals as a child. I'm really glad my Father didn't tell the brown eye, asparagus and bathtub ones. T fitted in perfectly with the whole evironment.

Apparently I was very loud and a little too 'cheeky' to the point of being rude. My Mother listed another heap of things i did wrong but that's typical. Everyone LOVED T (of course) and said how nice it was to see I had such lovely friends - with a few brain cells and a bit of culture.

T came back to my place and then left after midnight. When he got home he sent me a text message which included "... there are red smudges on my cock. Oh don't worry it was just your Mother's lipstick". Well when I returned to J & T's this morning to pick up my forgotten cardigan Mum kissed me on the cheek, wiped it and said "Sorry about the lipstick!" It was pretty funny but I couldn't explain the joke to her. :)

I think my parents are pleased that I'm finally surrounding myself with decent, intelligent, cultured people. There might be hope for me yet!

t.