Life Goes On

Irresponsible Brazilian Chocolate
Saturday, Aug. 28, 2004 - 1:33 a.m.
Ridiculous time of the night really for a diary entry. I'm eating chocolate too which I guess is good in the "i'm being completely wicked" category but honestly from a dental/diet/sensibility perspective it truly sucks.

Problem is, this fucking nicotine addiction is getting to me. Despite T's encouragement I have smoked most of this week and back on the patches today because I know how much he hates it. I also really miss "deep kissing" him because we don't do that when I taste like smoke! Blech! So here I sit, T is fast asleep, and I am craving a cigarette. I have some in the drawer. It wouldn't take much to turn around and light one up and taste the sweet, sweet nicotine permeate through my system. But I won't do it, because it stinks and because he doesn't like it and because it's bad for my health etc. So I'll just drink iced water and eat chocolate at 1.00am instead.

We opened the package! There were two sets of really cool speakers - one set for David and one for me - and a bluetooth connector for T. My old speakers were really crackly and basically dead which meant I never listened to music or watched movies on my pc but these new ones are v. cool.

In other news, I had a brazilian bikini wax today. :P

t.

Good Mail Day
Thursday, Aug. 26, 2004 - 1:24 a.m.
It was a very good mail day today. No cheques yet, but I got a postcard from the Athens Olympic Games! I contribute frequently to an online forum compromising mainly of bitter men and women who try to convince them that they're 'not like the others'. There are a few genuine girls on there (like me!) and the other is IKTBP - which stands for iknowthebassplayer. The story is already long, won't explain.

So anyway, IKTBP told the forum she was going to Greece for the olympics and asked if anyone wanted a postcard. I pm'ed her saying I would love one and guess what? It arrived today! How cool is that??? I will scan it in when I can and post.

I also received a card to pick up a parcel from the post office. David, Corey and I went there after school and it was a large package from a computer company. T ordered some stuff online Monday night and sent it here because he's never home. I know what's in it, but David is SO curious and can't understand why he can't open it. I'm so cruel.

t.

Snappy Attire
Wednesday, Aug. 25, 2004 - 5:34 p.m.
If he wasn't such an eclectic dresser, this t-shirt would suit Glennjamin. I just don't think that t-shirts are his "thing".

Nerd Heaven
Wednesday, Aug. 25, 2004 - 5:33 p.m.

What to do about Emma
Wednesday, Aug. 25, 2004 - 5:19 p.m.
I'm sitting here eating an early Thai dinner, reheated from the freezer where it's been since T bought me about five dinners two weeks ago. It's v. yummy!

Got another letter from a superannuation company today saying "thanks for your letter but we're still awaiting correspondence from Emma ***". Emma was Wayne's 21yo girlfriend at the time of his death. In fact, he hanged himself outside her work a week after she dumped him. It appears as though she is listed as the preferred beneficiary on at least one of his super funds. Wayne's Mother rang me on Sunday and said, amongst other things, that she would be extremely upset if Emma received any benefit. I rang the super fund and explained the situation to them and they explained that the "preferred beneficiary" had to legally be considered but it was far more likely to go to dependents such as children.

The other issue with this letter is that now I have her surname, which I have never had before. I now have to decide whether or not to contact her. I don't want to seem like I'm contacting her about the money, because I'm not - I actually don't know why I do want to contact her but I've often thought about her since Wayne's death. I don't think she was with him long enough to suffer the turmoil I did, so it's not a "united we stand" issue. Have to think about it a bit more I think.

t.

Recently found appreciation for this artist
Wednesday, Aug. 25, 2004 - 12:03 a.m.

Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Fool

Fall back
Take a look at me and you'll see
I'm for real
I'll feel what only I can feel
And if that don't appeal to you let me know
And I'll go 'cause I flow, better when my colors show
And that's the way it has to be, honestly
Cause creativity could never bloom in my room
I'd throw it all away before I'd lie so don't call me with a compromise
Hang up the phone
I've got a back bone stronger than yours

If you trying to turn me into someone else it's easy to see
I'm not down with that I'm nobody's fool
If you trying to turn me into something else
I've seen it enough and I'm over that I'm nobody's fool

Go ahead and try
Try to look me in the eye
but you'll never see inside
untill you realize...

Thing are trying to settle down
Just trying to figure out
Exactly what I'm about
If it's with or without you
I don't need your doubt in me

t.