Life Goes On

Weather Report ... Batten Down!
Monday, Aug. 09, 2004 - 4:00 p.m.
Nicotine has found it's way back into my life. Over the past week I've had a couple of cigarettes in moments of stress and weakness. After all this time of not having any it disappoints me that I would give into it so easily. It's weird because when I have one it feels like I have to force myself to bear the taste of it, and afterwards I feel sick in the stomach because of the smoke and hate the taste on my tongue. It is such a powerful drug. I really wish I could say honestly that I will never have it again ... but I can't. :(

David started his Behaviour Management Program today. His case worker, Dave, is a really lovely guy who has a wonderful manner. David responded well to him and I think it's going to be okay. We also called into the high school that David wants to go to - they have an Aspergers Unit on campus - and the Principal of the Special Ed Unit was wonderful! She put David's name on the list and basically guaranteed him a place which gives him something to strive towards.

We have a Public Holiday here in Brisbane on Wednesday for Ekka, which is our City/Country Show. I am taking David and Corey on Friday. Pavilions, animals, showbags, rides and fireworks sums up a typical day. Expect me to be exhausted at the end of it. Having the holiday means no Uni which is good in theory, except that we have to make the day up at the end of semester. This week it will be good though because with all the dramas happening atm I am almost behind in my work. It will give me a chance to catch up on everything.

I saw Steve on Friday at the Post Office. He and the boys are doing well. I haven't heard from him for a while - he admitted that whilst he missed me he also wanted to give me a little room since I met T.

T ... what can I say? Heads, Tails, Edge. I know both Heads and Tails and sporadically get to meet edge. He came around last night - we had dinner, movies and enough sex to give me shagger's back! That's a brag not a complaint incase you were wondering. This just confirms my theory that sex gets better with one person and that the worst fuck you'll ever have with any one person is the first. It might be really good ... but it will still be the worst (emotional bullshit aside) because each time you fuck you reach a deeper understanding of that person's turn-ons which is the whole point, isn't it? No theories, no hypothesis, no what/why or wherefores. I must, and will, take each encounter for it's value and expect nothing.

I feel like I'm in the eye of a hurricane. A hell week it's been, now it's smooth for a bit, but something tells me there's more shit ahead. Brace yourselves.

t.

Footnote Reference
Monday, Aug. 09, 2004 - 1:33 p.m.
"Crossfire doesn't burn you
It only hurts when it gets in you in the heart
It you don't hate me you'll learn to
I thought I had it clear from the start
I don't have a heart"
-- Kasey Chambers, Crossfire

t.

The Past is a Lesson
Saturday, Aug. 07, 2004 - 10:37 a.m.
"Learn then from this story not to fear the fruits of the past, but rather to be circumspect in the future, that those foul passions whereby our family has suffered so grievously may not again be loosed to our undoing." -- The Hound of the Baskervilles, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Black Eye Pending
Friday, Aug. 06, 2004 - 7:57 p.m.
Andrew: I got a really funny response from a conservative friend of mine when i told her what "cyber" was it was funny

Andrew: she goes: your disgusting I'm going now

Andrew: it was priceless I can' wait to explain bukkake

t.

Foolhardy decisions lead to a life half lived
Thursday, Aug. 05, 2004 - 9:40 a.m.
I could write an entry about my son who just got a 20 day suspension from school or I could mention that he's been placed in the top 10% of the state in English. But instead I thought I'd tell you a little story.

When I was at Uni the first time, way back when I was 18, it was end of semester and I was at the University Club having a few celebratory drinks. I met this guy called Michael. He was a country boy, tall brunette and really cute. We spent the night kissing and flirting. The following weekend I was leaving to go on a University ski-trip and Michael was so smitten with me that he paid to go as well.

So a week later I meet up with this guy that I've met once and we spend a week down at Thredbo ski fields. We had such a good time! All the students were staying in the same chalet but I was in a room with three other girls and him with three other boys.

My parents had paid to go on the trip as well because the price was good and they had a room of their own. They thought he was wonderful - he was an ex-student of the school my Dad taught at and Michael was exactly the sort of young man my parents wanted for me.

On the second last night of our stay Michael and I went out for a few drinks. We had a great night and when we got back to the chalet I invited him into my dorm where we had sex on the top bunk. The other three girls told me the next day that they could hear everything! I had to sneak him out at 6.30am after my Mother knocked on the door and we hid him in the bathroom until she left. I found out later that it was his first fuck! We did the sensible thing and went to the local doctor, where Michael paid for the consultation and I took the morning after pill.

All was cool until 2 weeks later my Mother handed me a receipt from the doctor which had arrived in the mail. My Dad had sprained his ankle on the trip and had gone to the doctor for consultation and xrays. The surgery had obviously seen the matching addresses and saved the postage by sending them together!

She was pretty good about it, and consequently put me on the pill. Michael and I continued to see each other for about year until his manipulating Mother convinced him that I wasn't good enough for him.

He is still single (as of two years ago) and has said that no woman matches up to me. Of course I'm not surprised :D but it's nice to hear.

I think in many we were very compatible and if he contacted me then I would definately date him. Nothing was complicated with him, except his Mother's interference. Apart from the sex, which was great, we also went to theme parks and stayed in caravans at the coast and did stupid things like visit the Brisbane Stock Exchange and make faces in photo booths. He was a country boy, a gentleman and I always felt appreciated by him. He was shy, honest and delightful and I think I showed him how to live in many ways.

It's weird how I haven't thought about him for so long. Another friend of mine (I) mentioned Michael's name in an email the other day and then another incident sparked my memory yesterday. If things happen in three's does that mean he might be contacting me soon? Maybe his Mother died.

t.