Life Goes On

Happy Endings
Sunday, Jul. 18, 2004 - 1:30 p.m.
I heard this song yesterday and loved it!

Avril Lavigne � Happy Ending

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS:
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[CHORUS]

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

t.

Happy Birthday To Me
Thursday, Jul. 15, 2004 - 7:28 p.m.

Happy Birthday To Me!

So I turned 33 today. Here are my statistics:

Number of phone calls: 2
Number of cards: 1
Number of emails: 2
Number of sms: 1
Number of people that forgot: 4

My Mother forgot. Clare forgot. T forgot. David forgot.

My brother remembered. Paulette remembered. My two online forums (Database and Programming) remembered. Steve remembered.

Thanks to everyone. I don't make a fuss of my birthday, it's really not important... obviously.

t.

Workaholism is Super
Wednesday, Jul. 14, 2004 - 10:40 p.m.
It's tax time in Australia and I realised that in the last 12 months I have had five sources of official income! I am waiting on 5 group certificates, which are statements showing how much I earned and how much tax I paid.

It then occurred to me that I currently have four part-time jobs. WTF?! Granted, one of them I only do about two weeks every 12 months but I have all these sources of income and must therefore have a ton of superannuation accounts floating around the place. I know that I have two super funds with the government superannuation body - one from about three years ago and they opened another recently when I started teaching again. I rang them and explained that I already had an account with them and could they just combine the two. No, they couldn't, because they're different types of super funds so now I have about 6 super funds and no way of collating them all until I graduate and get ONE job instead of four. Mind you, I'd rather have four jobs than none.

Tomorrow I am working all day at Uni doing the orientation for the new students starting in the IT faculty. Job #1!

t.

Old Mother Hubbard
Tuesday, Jul. 13, 2004 - 4:19 p.m.
First day of freedom as David went back to school today. Thank fuck! I can't believe how exhausting it is having him around 24/7. I've also had Corey (Paulette's son) here for the school holidays but he isn't hard to look after. I guess neither of them is ... it's just being constantly on call to someone for attention, food, entertainment, consideration.

Parenting is tough. I'm always worried that I'm not doing okay or that due to my parenting he will grow up scarred for life or disliking me as I dislike my Mother. I guess the best part of it is how important I feel and wanted, needed, required. I don't really know what it feels like to come home to an empty house night after night. I don't know how it feels to have such freedom that no-one would miss me if I disappeared for a week. Since leaving my marriage, I have always known how to be responsible and careful with money ensuring that my child always has something to eat.

I haven't been food shopping for about three weeks. Didn't go before I went to the coast for obvious reasons and since getting back I just haven't bothered. We've occasionally had takeaway (Thanks T!) but the rest has been using up that pantry stuff that I've collected for these times. I'm making bizarre food combinations using up tinned and packet food that I've had for a while and it's been okay.

Having reserve food in the pantry is very important to me. I was remembering today how it felt when Wayne and I were living in Longreach. We constantly lived payday to payday, buying the minimum of food and spending the rest on cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. I particularly remember this one time when we literally had no food in the house. All that was in the cupboard was a bottle of vegemite. I was sitting on the steps eating the vegemite out of the jar because I hadn't eaten anything for two days and we had another two days to go before pay day.

Now when I say we don't have any food in the house I mean that I haven't been shopping for three weeks and there's nothing new or fresh but there is heaps of tinned food, baking ingredients, spreads, frozen bread, cup-a-soups and I always have enough money for a few pieces of fruit!

Sometimes my life gets a little tough. I whinge because the school holidays drag and I'm sick of my darling child! But really, my lowest low in this life is milleniums away from my lowest low in my old life.

Yay!

t.